Tread Softly..

I spread my dreams underneath your feet,

Tread softly for you walk on my dreams.

Every step that you take is like a barb,

Sharply incinerating pieces of my happiness.

I sigh as your footsteps sound in my heart,

The cold cobbles are getting warmed at last.

Long lost and forlorn,your shadows leave a trail.

A dying breath rattles the glass windows.

This is the 100th post of this blog and a complete piece from me after six months of the silence that my mind imposed.

Whispers

I go on staring

May be something will come

But I know it wont

Ever felt that there is this big hole?

And your heart pumps harder,

And as the blood rushes to your head

You realize, you're alone

Thats how you come into this world

And that how you will go

Though I so very wish it was not so

I go on staring

Maybe something now?

But you knew where you are going,

Why did you go?

Dont you want to go back?

Why dont you undo what you did?

Stop! Stop! Stop!

Stop asking me questions.

I dont because I cant.

Why dont you understand?

But why cant you?

That is a question; I told you to stop.

Why do you want me to stop?

Were It possible you would be dead,

but alas you be the second half of me in my head

If you are to die I do too, So you know I wont kill you.

Why do you trouble me so? With all your questions?

I do because I feel the same as you; You Fool!

You fool! I understand that is why I do!

I go on staring

Even though I know nothing will come.

For I have hope; However false it might be

This false hope shows me what I want to see,

There is no hole, I am anew;

It is filled because its me and ...

An Ogre's Wish

Beauty can charm a beast, and so was I

Being an ogre, nothing more than a beast

And till today so I am

But being an ogre, misuderstood, and so was I

Many times before till today so I am

The kindest guestures being oh so rude

And the gentlest words being oh so crude

For being an ogre I knew no better, though I wish I was

I wish I was, I wish I was, Charming

What is deep in me will never go away

Nor do I want it to, I cherish It till today

I wish It wasnt guestures, neither word

Oh how I wish it was something else

But I am an ogre, wishes dont come true for me

Why dont they?

But still I wish I was Charming to ...

My sweetest Decembers

Standing where I am not knowing where I stand

I look on ahead, I do not know what I see

Illusions are they made of fond memory?

Walking because I have to walk but I dont know where I go

Looking back I see the the path I had been on

That is where I want to be back in my own history

I am very lost but I have to walk

Why must I walk I do not know

How many times has it been?

Oh so many, so many jumbled up pieces of red string

In autumn leaves, or sunflower bushes

In foggy windows, in dusty heat

But for me it was all just winter

So very very sweet december

So many pieces of jumbled red strings

I wish they would go away, for when they do its wonderful

Just me and ...

Less Than Perfect

I was wondering when I saw that bearded old man on his little sheet of chequered red.

With his legs tucked away and his ribs giving away his long days of being unfed.

I was wondering even more when I saw her sitting there dejectedly,watching him sleep.

As if her troubles were not enough for her, she had to bring more from him to keep.

And then as my car whooshed by I turned my head around to see my mistake.

She was not there for him, the pain behind the pain in those eyes could not be fake.

As my head set itself into motion to look at the road ahead again.

My heart ached silently in the morning rush to feel that same pain.

What would I not give to feel that pain again, exihilirating thrill.

I would give anything to feel that longing brood against my will.

To trust again, to love free of fear of what does it all really mean.

This story is about him& her but also of what could have been.

[i]

I thought of naming this "him & her" but i dunno why "less than perfect" jumped to my mind n took precedence.

Give me a Name

These memories filing my head

The voice that is just about dead

Hold my hand and let us walk

Past is past and future is eternal

 

The real world is hard to live in

We keep on falling and getting hurt

Remember me walking in the rain?

It’s that me, I am here again

 

I know I said it a thousand times

But, I am yours and you are mine

Hold my hand and we will fly

Higher than anyone, closer to the sky

 

Gathering stardust, scattering more

I don’t want us to burn out like before

Pull me up if I fall,

I don’t want to, just like you.

 

A little boy I see the world

So big, so dark, so fearful

Hold my hand we can make it through

Because I am scared, just like you

 

I am still thinking about you

As rain starts and stops

As the sky grows dark

As the as the leaves change colour

 

As you go deep into my heart

I fly up into the sky

This little boy might never be a prince

But to this boy you are always his princess

Marooned

Marooned on an island a bird softly sings,

Long lost memories and sadness it brings.

Marooned on an island a lovely bird shrieks,

Of pain and blood its love song reeks.

But one emotion it does not want;

It does not want, it surely does not want.

--Of being marooned in maroon!

It screams "Gimme Red"; splash the town.

Birdie refuses to look at 'love' as just another noun.

Marooned on an island, the bird is relentless.

Love is the name of the bird, it is flightless.

Another one of my bird songs[the other one being "Song of a Night Bird"http://manycoloredrainbow.blogspot.com/2006/10/song-of-night-bird.html]

I somehow like using birds as a metaphor.

And by flightless i dont mean to be cruel and say the birds wings got clipped off or something but because love is such a bird that when it dwells on something, even if it is a marooned island, it is not going to leave that place ever and go away. Tough metaphorism i will concede but i've always been like that!

Thinking Of You

I am thinking of you in my wakeful lonesomeness tonight.
If it is wrong to love, then my heart just wont let me be right.
Cause I’m so lost in you that I cant live without you holding me tight.
I'd give everything, anything to have just one more night with you, tonight.
I'd sell my soul just to feel your warm body next to mine,
Cause I can’t go on existing in the remembrance of our soulful tune.
I'd give myself, my everything for your love, just for a night.

Come to me when I am alone at the stroke of midnight

And let us escape, tugging at our heart-strings, like two besotted kites.

Hiding Place

The night burns on and I find no sleep
I turn into the night beginning within myself deep
The burning light within me refuses to ebb
As memories and dreams start to build a web
There is a burning desire within me
To possess, to protect and to guide
But within miserable seconds I begin to slide
Into nightmares begun with screams
With devilish fires burning up my dreams
I need a hiding place from the cruel night
A place which can shelter fantastical flights
The night needs light,bright and scorching
Which will purify the night of its debauchery
A little hiding place where to rest for a while
A place which is free from evilness and guile
I know the night needs the light and it is you
Shelter me in your arms,I will never let it find you.

PS: Been relaxing of late at home while I can before I rush off to a another internship stint in Delhi. Been to Hyderabad recently, didn't quite understand what is their Hyd Biryani all hyped for??It was too spicy for my taste buds, any of you like it? Lemme know why.

A little Late

I have been sick for sometime, both mentally and physically. I spent Sunday that is women's day crying my heart out and in the throes of depression.. Needless to say nothing good came out of that and I realized how fruitless and meaningless my life is becoming with each passing day. Depression seems to have taken over me and I on many occassions find no reason whatever for being alive at that moment. I also realised that love does not come to you merely by giving love, if that was so I would have been happier and been loved a long time ago. So I am taking steps not to be living in this limbo forever, wanting and not getting and then feeling guilty for wanting..Its like going on a little holiday for me and Im looking forward to enjoy it. I feel quite relaxed already. Sigh.
I am damn sure that I dont want to spend days like sunday, crying and punishing myself for things i have not done,so pray to God i find a proper solution to my problems otherwise uprooting myself from everything around me and starting afresh would be the only choice left.

PS:- Happy Women's Day to all the lovely ladies reading this..and to the guys:I hope you appreciate them being around and if you do, dont hesitate in showing them coz all we need is a little bit of love.
Cheers.

Colonial Foolishness

Swirling smoke comes whooshing out.

Writhing and squirming, away it floats.

Beautiful clouds mist the sky.

Clouding the way as the train comes screaming by.

Awakened from their lazy slumber, the birds fly...

We begin a slow journey towards a sleepy town.

Warm in a sleepy blanket of white it sleeps, cares unknown.

Figures of people silhouetted against the smoky white.

Hundreds of stories fading into beautiful light.

A new day creeps up, lives change.

Darkness flies, mysterious minds remain.

A few fools like me trying a brush with heritage.

As if money can buy, the days gone by.

When ladies with beautiful hats,

And men with coat-tails like the ears of cats,

Travelled with dreams, with stars in their eyes.

As twinkling as the stars that lot the blade hilly night skies.

Settle down to a land unknown,Sipping tea in a cozy town.

We fools now search for those dreams.

Having lost our own little stories.

We just grasp at what doesn’t belong to us.

Not even realizing that by stretching out,

we cant grab dreams in our hands.

Just like we can’t grab a butterfly in its flight.

Or touch a rainbow's colorful bands.

PS:-Inspired by my recent sojourn to the hills of eastern India...especially the toy train ride from Darjiling to the small town of Ghoom(so named by Tagore).

Butterflies and Kisses

A sweet little butterfly touches my shoulder,

Kisses my moist lips, jolts me to a wonder.

How I wish I could keep it with me forever.

At least till the pinks & blues meet over yonder.

I try and gently scoop it up to hold in my hands.

But the poor thing flutters faster than a fairy's wands.

I kiss it a sad goodbye and look wistfully after.

I send up a prayer amidst subdued laughter.

Thank God, not everything is meant to 'let go'.

I smile as I search for his hand and a rainbow.

Arent we all thankful at a certain level that we have somethings to hold on to even if the whole world abandons us...like mothers and lovers. :)

Blood and Champagne

A lil bit of luck and a lil bit of pain.
A lil bit of ecstasy mixed with champagne,
Throw in the colors and mix it up well
Lifes a hungry tide and its gonna be swell.
Throw in some confusion;make it a juicy grape.
And make a lil umbrella sit pretty with its creamy cape.
Its gonna be purple and its gonna be red,
Its gonna be blue, no green instead.
Don't know how blood & champagne mix
But if you're ready,that's one drink I can easily fix.

A bit of 'Lawv'

ok so finally done with my vivas, am glad they are over..haven't written anything meaningful for a long time now..so lets talk about love. i know i know, you'll be saying not again...why love?
then i shall say why not love? i am not necessarily talking of the old and dreary relationship between two individuals who are not connected by blood or other ties of filial or extraneous affection..pardon me but i am a law student, and my thinking is changing!! so i shall be looking at the archaic and done to death concept of love through the eye of a law student, a law critic,maybe even a law skeptic...using the tools of law..so old discussion, dazzling new method...TADA...talk about advertising myself !!!

So let us engage in what love is? what is it...how can u grasp its meaning..there are so many types and typologies of love...you have passion,desire,affection, liking, belonging and even lust being confused with love. So is there one meaning of 'love'..can it be so tangibly separated from the plethora of emotions mentioned above that it can establish its identity as itself...a tangible definable emotion by itself with no overlapping or confusion with possibly any other emotion...according to me, that cannot be done...so logically we would come to the conclusion that love is nothing but a derivative of all these emotions.. that is to say that love is determined by one or more of these emotions at any given period of time in the continuum of a relationship..This is not a value judgment of course. Love being governed by so many other emotions would only add to its color even more, so i would like to think to tie the color of love only to the color of passion i.e. red is most unjust and plain stupid. i mean add some pink for affection,some yellow for happiness, some blues for longing and some greens for jealousy and insecurities..and there you have a whole gamut of emotions making up the rainbow of love...yeah the whole point of this post is to say that love is a rainbow of emotions..duh! so the next time u need to gift that special one something on valentines day make sure to include all the colors of the rainbow in it....sprinkle some more yellows and oranges for cheering up purposes considering the state of affairs in this recession period. :)

Beautiful eyes, beautiful face

Beautiful eyes, beautiful face,
I'm shy to talk to you.
You're the eagle I must watch
No matter what I do.

You're the beauty, wild and free,
The mistress of my eyes,
Rolling through exultant air,
Alone in pristine skies.

I would take you for my own
Could I but have your wings,
Could I but go where night begins
And frozen sunlight sings.

Could I but have you for my love,
How might we fly together!
But I must watch you from below
And long for you forever.
But I must be the one below
And long for you forever.

ps: Not my work...taken off the internet...Just wanted to share some beauty with all :)

Luck by chance--Musings of a tired soul

I have lost myself and found myself…time and time…over again...It seems after many a day I am re-discovering myself...and its been a painful process because this time I’ve been aware of myself, my body, the existence of my soul and the sharp pains within it. Not that life is all a roller coaster ride down-hill…there have been moments of joy in it…in fact the happy moments though small and difficult to come across are precious and gimme the strength to go on when life is blue. I know my life is not going to be easy, it’s going to be boring and monotonous and very very lonely. But I’m reconciled to the idea that in a few years time I will have to live alone in a small apartment [if not a PG] in a strange city in India, working [hopefully the recession will not affect my chances at a ‘good’ life] in a ‘good’ firm, getting a modest amount of salary and basically surviving on my own. It’s a bleak future to look forward to, but at least there is one! Going to the fish market to buy regular supplies, commuting by public transport, cooking my own food, watching TV in the evenings for recreation and countless other things which I shall need to do on my own, absolutely alone—is the stark reality which faces me today. I am a little daunted by it, a little depressed too—I have to admit. But life is life and we need to face up to it. I’m growing up and shedding my cocoon. I have responsibilities to myself, to those who have given me a lot…an obligation to them who have made me what I am today. I cannot sacrifice my all even if I want to…and want I did. For a few moments I had thought that life will be a bed of roses, a dream come true… a happy life in a distant land. But that is what it was—a dream. You can put it down to my childishness and the day dreamer in my soul but I really believed it would all come true one day, even though I tried to deny it to myself to protect myself from the disappointment of not having my expectations fulfilled. I always believed that every person is a caterpillar waiting to become a butterfly. I thought that one day I too shall shed my shell and become a beautiful butterfly…but when the time came to search for my wings, I realized that it is one of the many mirages that life shows us. It’s only the cocoon that ever accompanies us and we are always so eager to get rid of it…I wish I could become a child again and enjoy the cocoon while it lasted. But I don’t have any regrets today… I dreamt, I lived, I loved and I gave it my all. Whether life works out for you or not is dependent on Fate. Life is after all “Luck by Chance”.