24/06/2009

Less Than Perfect

I was wondering when I saw that bearded old man on his little sheet of chequered red.
With his legs tucked away and his ribs giving away his long days of being unfed.
I was wondering even more when I saw her sitting there dejectedly,watching him sleep.
As if her troubles were not enough for her, she had to bring more from him to keep.
And then as my car whooshed by I turned my head around to see my mistake.
She was not there for him, the pain behind the pain in those eyes could not be fake.
As my head set itself into motion to look at the road ahead again.
My heart ached silently in the morning rush to feel that same pain.
What would I not give to feel that pain again, exihilirating thrill.
I would give anything to feel that longing brood against my will.
To trust again, to love free of fear of what does it all really mean.
This story is about him& her but also of what could have been.

[i]
I thought of naming this "him & her" but i dunno why "less than perfect" jumped to my mind n took precedence.

9 comments:

Indrajit said...

You ahev an unusual way of expressing things. Keep wiritng and aiting to see a lot more. Tc.

A Poetess said...

thanks but ur comment left me confused...wht do u mean by "unusua way"..can u please elucidate.
that would be great
thanks :)

NAMELESS FAMELESS said...

FIRST !! i love this theme of yours !!!!

and a very nice poem ..

Chanchal said...

Another instance to prove that we think similar, in many arenas. The plot was really nice, close to my heart.

To your astonishment, I have myself thought over an identical theme quite sometimes, but since I usually write essays, I thought it wouldn't make any impact.

Love and life, two things which comprise me.

Love
Ban

NAMELESS FAMELESS said...

i love it dyuti .. it is so touching.. i could relate to it . the pain , the twitch in ur heart . the sharp but deep trench which follows after these scenes .. khub sundor poem ta. .

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Gautam Anand said...

Really nice.. , read sth different in a long while.. Ur "give me a name" was good but followed an orthodox way.. but this one is both nice and different..

In b/w I wrote sth after 2 months..
so enlighten my blog with ur comments.. :)

A Poetess said...

@chanchal: i am not that surprised becoz i have appreciated many of ur themes myself :)
do not stop urself writing on a similar theme as mine just becoz u write essays...the expression being different might bring a different flavor to the bouquet of a wine!

@pinks: very gratifying to know that u felt the twinge of sadness that this poem was meant to convey..as it touched me, so it touched u!

@gautam: thanks for appreciating words..i am changing as a person and i suppose my blog is a witness to that..as with my internal changes, my writing style changes as well. and "give me a name" is not my creation u see, it is my co-author MR DEJA VU'S piece of writing..

Indrajit said...

Hmm,

This story is about him& her but also of what could have been.


Loved the way you finished this,

great style of finish and neat work.

:)