10/03/2009

A little Late

I have been sick for sometime, both mentally and physically. I spent Sunday that is women's day crying my heart out and in the throes of depression.. Needless to say nothing good came out of that and I realized how fruitless and meaningless my life is becoming with each passing day. Depression seems to have taken over me and I on many occassions find no reason whatever for being alive at that moment. I also realised that love does not come to you merely by giving love, if that was so I would have been happier and been loved a long time ago. So I am taking steps not to be living in this limbo forever, wanting and not getting and then feeling guilty for wanting..Its like going on a little holiday for me and Im looking forward to enjoy it. I feel quite relaxed already. Sigh.
I am damn sure that I dont want to spend days like sunday, crying and punishing myself for things i have not done,so pray to God i find a proper solution to my problems otherwise uprooting myself from everything around me and starting afresh would be the only choice left.

PS:- Happy Women's Day to all the lovely ladies reading this..and to the guys:I hope you appreciate them being around and if you do, dont hesitate in showing them coz all we need is a little bit of love.
Cheers.

05/03/2009

Colonial Foolishness


Swirling smoke comes whooshing out.

Writhing and squirming, away it floats.

Beautiful clouds mist the sky.

Clouding the way as the train comes screaming by.

Awakened from their lazy slumber, the birds fly...

We begin a slow journey towards a sleepy town.

Warm in a sleepy blanket of white it sleeps, cares unknown.

Figures of people silhouetted against the smoky white.

Hundreds of stories fading into beautiful light.

A new day creeps up, lives change.

Darkness flies, mysterious minds remain.

A few fools like me trying a brush with heritage.

As if money can buy, the days gone by.

When ladies with beautiful hats,

And men with coat-tails like the ears of cats,

Travelled with dreams, with stars in their eyes.

As twinkling as the stars that lot the blade hilly night skies.

Settle down to a land unknown,Sipping tea in a cozy town.

We fools now search for those dreams.

Having lost our own little stories.

We just grasp at what doesn’t belong to us.

Not even realizing that by stretching out,

we cant grab dreams in our hands.

Just like we can’t grab a butterfly in its flight.

Or touch a rainbow's colorful bands.



PS:-Inspired by my recent sojourn to the hills of eastern India...especially the toy train ride from Darjiling to the small town of Ghoom(so named by Tagore).

Butterflies and Kisses


A sweet little butterfly touches my shoulder,

Kisses my moist lips, jolts me to a wonder.

How I wish I could keep it with me forever.

At least till the pinks & blues meet over yonder.

I try and gently scoop it up to hold in my hands.

But the poor thing flutters faster than a fairy's wands.

I kiss it a sad goodbye and look wistfully after.

I send up a prayer amidst subdued laughter.

Thank God, not everything is meant to 'let go'.

I smile as I search for his hand and a rainbow.

Arent we all thankful at a certain level that we have somethings to hold on to even if the whole world abandons us...like mothers and lovers. :)