The Eternal Optimist

My life has changed since the last time I wrote.
Yes,change it has,a lot of changes have been wrought.
But its time to change again.Just take a note:
Change is the constant,changes have to be brought.

Along the way I met a friend,he gave me hope.
O yes hope,what I was looking for,hope!!
Hope that I could be myself once more,to be the real person.
But had I forgotten my complicated self,the primary reason.

I am my fire,I am my enemy.
I cause destruction wherever I go.

No Don't touch me.You'll burn your hands.

But change I must and change I will.
Dejected soul,helpless pose.
It's gone,all gone,to where you ask?
To the darkened room,not out of my life.
'O I want colors of the rainbow in my life.

This loneliness is killing me.
But what use is pain to a dead man?
But it's time to change and change I must.
This time for the better,as it was for the first.
People come and people go,into my life and out of it.
It pretend it never hurts,my face all alit.
But this times its different,time for a change!

I'll walk down the sunny paths of life, once more.
For a short while,I promise myself,once more.
My head will be held high,as it always is.
But this time I'll try to feel it inside.
I'm a complicated person,a bundle of contradictions.
I'm looking for stablility, a real person.
I'm not perfect,nobody is.
But cant someone accept me as it is.
Someone who'll bring some tranquility into my life and way.
But when the time comes,I'll push him away.
Do you know why,of course you do....

I am my fire,I am my enemy.
I cause destruction wherever I go.

I dont write for no one,I write for myself.
So don't peep into my diary,it's meant for myself.
My fantasy,my imagination.
They are where I find my salvation.
My life is a story,it is fake.
I question myself at every step I take.
Every step I've taken has been for my dream's sake.
It's difficult to see your dreams turn into a nightmare.
Mocking you 'coz they'll never come true,o yeah!!

In the end I wish I could write about the others around.
War and peace,men and destruction in this world abound.
But in this web I'm always caught.
In it's threads Imm always fraught.
It's not that I dont try,try to come out.
But the moment I do,the screams shout.

It's killing me.
My loneliness is killing me....
But somewhere deep down I still believe....