Writing is a way to cleanse my soul..it gives wings to me when life is all set to clip them. When the little tiny wires inside of this little sphere called my head fire up and make all sorts of funny noises, I know it is time to let go of a little steam. Hopefully, this blog will help me rekindle what was me and mine. Keep reading or not, I write for myself alone these days. :)
24/01/2007
Insanity
So this is what it feels like.
To be lonely in a crowd; to be left alone.
When people even don’t know you are around.
That you are screaming inside, but they cant hear the sound...
Eternal loneliness finished with a few moments of joy;
And then separate loneliness again.
I'm here, you are there...
Know you are there, waiting for me
But cant see you with these eyes....
Missing you at all possible times..
people, so many of them,
but they still don’t understand, do they now?
How you and me fit and were meant to be...
doesn’t matter anyways, does it now?
You are there waiting for me I know.
But I ain’t good at this waiting game either you know.
Always I come up against this black dark wall .
The pounding in my head says I’m going insane.
Have no reason either to combat this bane.
I never felt loneliness before in its true unabashed self.
That's coz I never knew there were so many emotions to delve.
I never knew loneliness before coz I thought there wasn’t anyone,
and now I feel double, whatever I’m feeling, someone else is too...
I’m going insane thinking about how to take care of you...
I’ve cherished you as a child of my heart,
I’ve never wanted to let you apart.
Even if it’s momentary, this separation is making me go insane.
Knowing it'll give you and me the same amount of pain.
The shooting star has burnt out and bitten the dust.
Lost in the brown dusty earth, a first.
But in that meeting with the earth the star was not finished.
Rather the shooting star found it’s seeked resting place.
Found a close enclave, no more does the shooting star have to roam the space.
If this is my insanity so be it, it’s better than roaming and frustration.
This is, I bet, the whole world’s best sensation.
If this entails going insane, then so be it.
I was saved from being eternally lit.
The eternal agony of looking and not finding.
Hating the world at large, waiting for the ending.
If this is going insane, then so be it....