Looking at Life like a Chagall painting

In the sugar-coated motion of everyday life,

The crystallized lips--they do not speak.

Passers-by look distorted through the looking glass.

A little like: Looking at Life like a Chagall painting.

Stripping life down to the mere basics,

Letting the old spirits float around you.

The sound of the rain hitting the window pane,

And the wind howling with the wish to enter.

Remind you how Life is in its actuality.

Ready to take you up on a moment's notice.

And not let go of you: Till the eyes are sunken,

And the smiles are gone, the bones jutting through.

Till the dreams die and the soul fades.

Life takes the twinkle of eyes and the dimples.

And promises nothing, but the precious gift of Death.

For Death is reality and Life a mere illusion,

However ghastly she may be!

Nothings spells I'm fine better than coffee

The white cup balances itself so neatly on the edge of my bed,like a beautiful ballerina about to take off into a graceful leap.

I wonder if I notice because my emotions are stacked the same way?

I have managed to surprise myself so many times.I laugh a giggle and wonder if that's even possible!The heat from the coffee makes my hands warm.

These little things make me smile; I am happy. 

The old gray tree outside stretches its fingers, nodding its head in time to the much older wind. Words keep poking around inside my head. Asking me questions, prodding my heart.And I can smother laughter to say: "I'm fine"

I really am.

Spread-eagled on regulation white sheets,a marbled blanket for company.The phones give off a eerie white glow in the background. I stare at the unfamiliar ceiling and think that the smoke detector looks like an alien spying machine. My imagination had always been iffy. I thought of all the boring classes it had saved me from. Of all the things I could be grateful for, I wonder why my imagination had never featured quite on top of the list. The coffee is still warm, it wont stay that way forever!

Bamboo Shoots and Flights of fantasies

My aim is to be like the bamboo shoot
So strong in its roots, and so flexible above;
When a Strong wind blows, it bends,
But never breaks.

It gives the strength to wild grass to grow,
Carefree on its roots; around it, enmeshing it.
Little pins and needles seem stuck in my heart;
Bleeding it at inappropriate moments.

The more they push themselves in,
Like a bamboo tree, I shall grow higher;
Reach towards the skies, touch the stars,
WIth stars on each of my fingertips.

I shall see dreams of fairies and love.
Somwhere beyond the horizon,
My dreams will take flight, like birds.
Then this simple rooted thing,
Would have taken flight.
No sudden pangs of heartache,
Will then caress that dream's heart.

Passion

I have been fighting these tears--on the brink tears.

Fighting all the too loud questions and the fears.

It seems to be déjà vu all over for me again.

Just after flushed happiness comes the pain.

I’d said to myself a long ago that I wouldn't do this.

But here I am, betrayed by my latent wishes.

The questions stay bottled up inside.

Pounding my head; relief only when I’ve cried.

All the doubts in my mind are killing me.

What keeps you silent? When I need you to feel me.

Slowly a yawning hole is opening in my soul.

It’s only a matter of time before its shows in my eyes.

I hope you know what you want, no mistake.

Its only love that lasts, the passion pales in its wake.

When you’ve made up your mind, knock on my door.

But the door closes behind you, so you gotta be sure.

If it isn’t love, I won’t hold you to anything

But beyond this point, there is no going back.

Jaded Naivety

I got so tired of these damned clichés in my poem,

So thought of getting rid of every one of ‘em

What are rules made for, if not to be broken?

What is a heart made for, if not pieced apiece?

So I say: ‘what the hell, grab the moment and run free’.

There are things like deadlines, priorities and commitment.

And then there are things like strawberry wafers, things pleasant.

What are rules made for, if not to be broken?

What is a heart made for, if not pieced apiece?

I’m done with the ‘what if’s and the ‘why not’s.

So something’s gonna hurt. But you still do it anyway.

Coz it’s forming a part of now, tomorrow’s memory’s cachet.

What are rules made for, if not to be broken?

What is a heart made for, if not pieced apiece?

Giving free run to my imagination, the string-less kite.

And he made it so that we couldn’t even be friends.

And she’s become a candle that burns both its ends.

What are rules made for, if not to be broken?

What is a heart made for, if not pieced apiece?

So I am letting go of both, hope it gives them hell.

Not that I hate, not that I love; its just that I don’t care.

It had in actuality become too much of a burden to bear.

What are rules made for, if not to be broken?

What is a heart made for, if not pieced apiece?

Something’s remain unbroken, unfortunately perhaps.

Like hope for a new beginning, thinking things will be better.

Knowing most probably they won’t—tomorrow is today’s daughter.

What are rules made for, if not to be broken?

What is a heart made for, if not pieced apiece?

What is life if not spent on foolish naivety?

"Sapne"

Aaj fir humara ek sapna toota.

Sapney to toot te hi rehte hein.

Aur hum bhi unke sang bhikhar te rehte hein

Nadan yeh dil jane sapne kyu dekhta hein?

Aap hume chor kar itne door nikal gaye...

Aur socha ke hum wohi pe rah jayenge?

Hum un me se nahi jo roye aur bhul jaye.

Hum un mein se hein jo hanse aur yaad kare.

Zindagi ke iss safar me kitni choti si zustajoo thi,

Hum ko pata bhi nahi chala aur khatam ho gayi.

Par jo bhi thi, bohot pyari si thi, thi bari hanseen.

Ab agey kya hoga woh to hume nehi pata,

Zindagi aansoon se kahan rukti hein?

Jo humare liye na ruka, hum unke liye nehi rukte hein.

PS: Forgive mistakes in Hindi, not very well versed in it. This came naturally in Hindi, I dont know why. So I wrote it down the way it arrived in the world.

A Chance Meeting with You.

It’s funny how you and I are alike in our vulnerabilities.

We actually have the very same debilitating disabilities.

And yet we are so very different at the same time.

You are a guy, and I mere woman; so feeble I’m.

While your eyes blink and you have a nervous stance.

I sit there with barely an eyelash batting, lost in life’s dance.

With hands as steady as rock that lifts up the glass.

I look into the eyes of your mind—you know I trespass.

Yet inside I am screaming too, just like you are.

I don’t have the permission to speak, its just bizarre.

And true to myself not a word passes my lips, I feel dead.

Not numb, dead, like something’s gone away, has bled

And it’s never going to come back ever, gone forever

I wish I had a rock to stand on today, when everything’s a blur.

But how can I forget I am my own rock, cruel Irony.

As I dash against myself, its me cutting myself vainly.

Like always…

Lessons of Life

10 Things I learned about relationships..the usual type:-

1. Never be with a person who does not appreciate your tears- Life is not perfect and neither are human beings. We will all break down at some point of time or the other,and its then that companionship and acceptance matters the most. A person who thinks you are manipulative just because you are crying, has got some serious problems and should be avoided at all costs.
2. Never let anyone make you feel inferior- If anyone wants to make you feel competitive with people of the same gender in their lives, first look within yourself for any insecurities. Then try and understand the basis for those insecurities. More often than not, if you were not suffering from paranoid jealousies before with anybody else(eg-parents, friends' attention), there is something wrong in the way your partner is treating you and you are hitting back in the most primal way.
3. Dump a flirtatious partner at the 1st instance- When your significant other is making twinkly eyes at someone who is not you, RUN!!
4. Integrate yourself into the family- If the family does not accept you easily, try. If the family does not accept you even then, keep trying. If the family is constantly degrading you: read last word of 3.
5. There's no breaking the glass wall- If at any point of time, you feel like you have hit a glass wall with the other person & it only needs a lil trying on your part to make him/her to see your point of view--truth is he/she has already chosen his/her own point of view. If you can compromise and live with that without regrets, do and if not: read last word of 3.
6. Do not give of yourself completely and unconditionally-You are just thought to be cheap. I know it sounds contradictory to what the ideal of love ought to be, but thats the way it is!
7. Distinguish between friendship and flirting- Related to point 3. But this refers to yourself rather than the other person. Never give up your friends whatever sex they belong to, no matter how much your partner pesters you on this point. However that does not mean, you can walk holding hands or ride shotgun with hands all over the place.
8. Careful if its not public knowhow- If your partner is not comfortable to making your relationship known to people, be a teeny bit careful. Not only because it signals not all izz well with him/her, but also because however good/justified a reason he/she may have for not doing so, you will ultimately feel like the loser.
9. Quit if its making you sad/depressed all the time- Relationships are a part of life, if contented & fulfilling it can go a long way in enriching the life experience. But if its not, it can drain all the energy and happiness out of you making you feel disheartened. It makes sense to quit because the whole point of being in a relationship with someone is that you want to share some special moments/something with another.
10. A relationship takes two-Enough said.

this poem has no name

I spent so many days with you
By my side when we were just kids you know.
I would write your name on the board.
You'd smile,say this is the last time,please.
Floored by your smile I'd rub off the chalk.
But on my heart your smiled etched an indelible mark.
Getting into trouble on purpose so that you'd come to me.
From all your friends I'd like to snatch you away.
You meant much more to me than I meant to you.
I knew that,yet I didnt care.
Want to do the same even today.
But where are you?Have no trace.
And then I think whats the use of it all?
You'd never recognise me even if I do.
But I think I'll have a sense of deja vu.
Memories have to be sheltered now.
Life's nothing but a collection of stories.


This is dedicated to one of my childhood friends.
To you my "Gundader shordar"...from your "Ragu-buri"...love you lots and missing you too...would love to see you once again in my life.
Wait for me on the other side of the rainbow(n I'll be doing the same),have lots of stories to share.

TRAPPED

Trapped in this body I no longer want to stay.

Away from these physicalities, isn’t there any other way?

Where you walk but there are no footprints in the sand.

Where I can hold your soul without holding your hand.

I can then fly, go wherever I wanted ever to go.

Any faraway land, any imaginary shore.

All that the mind may have heard in poem and lore.

Where you wont be missed, you can be wherever you wanted to be.

You don’t feel helpless,

You don’t have to open your heart every time to show your true feelings.

For then it would be clear, all.

Where there is no ridicule after a fall.

Coz then everyone of us will fly.

Free from each other, and yet bound, we even don’t have to try.

Try to be perfect , try to be free.

Choose and decide, which is dearer to me.

And then prove my choice for everyone to see.

For the moment all alone is all I want to be.

Coz in the end, nothing matters.

What you do, what the world infers.

The soul is always here, aint it?

Then why don’t we all free it from the body in which it

Stays trapped……

To a place:

Where there is no love, no hate.

There are no feelings to be controlled by fate.

Where you are dead but yet not so.

Where you can just be, go with the flow.

Why hasn’t such a place been discovered as yet?

Or is it too expensive for it, to me, be let.

I want to break free, tear all these binds.

Kill these tears before my sight it blinds.

I don’t wanna stay trapped in this body anymore.

Any other place is better than this and that’s for sure.

The Eternal Optimist

My life has changed since the last time I wrote.
Yes,change it has,a lot of changes have been wrought.
But its time to change again.Just take a note:
Change is the constant,changes have to be brought.

Along the way I met a friend,he gave me hope.
O yes hope,what I was looking for,hope!!
Hope that I could be myself once more,to be the real person.
But had I forgotten my complicated self,the primary reason.

I am my fire,I am my enemy.
I cause destruction wherever I go.

No Don't touch me.You'll burn your hands.

But change I must and change I will.
Dejected soul,helpless pose.
It's gone,all gone,to where you ask?
To the darkened room,not out of my life.
'O I want colors of the rainbow in my life.

This loneliness is killing me.
But what use is pain to a dead man?
But it's time to change and change I must.
This time for the better,as it was for the first.
People come and people go,into my life and out of it.
It pretend it never hurts,my face all alit.
But this times its different,time for a change!

I'll walk down the sunny paths of life, once more.
For a short while,I promise myself,once more.
My head will be held high,as it always is.
But this time I'll try to feel it inside.
I'm a complicated person,a bundle of contradictions.
I'm looking for stablility, a real person.
I'm not perfect,nobody is.
But cant someone accept me as it is.
Someone who'll bring some tranquility into my life and way.
But when the time comes,I'll push him away.
Do you know why,of course you do....

I am my fire,I am my enemy.
I cause destruction wherever I go.

I dont write for no one,I write for myself.
So don't peep into my diary,it's meant for myself.
My fantasy,my imagination.
They are where I find my salvation.
My life is a story,it is fake.
I question myself at every step I take.
Every step I've taken has been for my dream's sake.
It's difficult to see your dreams turn into a nightmare.
Mocking you 'coz they'll never come true,o yeah!!

In the end I wish I could write about the others around.
War and peace,men and destruction in this world abound.
But in this web I'm always caught.
In it's threads Imm always fraught.
It's not that I dont try,try to come out.
But the moment I do,the screams shout.

It's killing me.
My loneliness is killing me....
But somewhere deep down I still believe....